Untangling The Tangle

The patterns in a Zentangle nag. Compelling me  untangle this idea of quirks as perfection in art, in a visually drawn space but, not quite as easily applicable in the psychological domain.
 

Rohini is a wonderful individual and her passion for Zentangles have got me interested in the art. She shares her endeavours with passion and such grace that one is inspired to read more into what has been drawn on the square tiles - the formatted base for a Zentangle, than to simply look at it as an artistic enterprise. I haven’t done any myself but have understood that there are some basic arrangements which are taught and through a repetition of these, by allowing yourself to be in a state of flow, you keep adding to the page, from the series of forms learned. Colour is minimal, if used at all, and the black and white works look quite stunning, even if remarkably similar across the output from different practitioners. It is not the end result which is the crux of this initiative but the process, which has a Zen like quality.
 

As a student of textile design, I learned the art of making up motifs. And have seen first-hand how one can evolve designs from something as simple as the innards of a Bhindi/Okra and other such unusual forms. We had ways of duplicating these motifs such as brick-laying, half-drop, straight and mirrored repeat, and so on and so forth. We were taught how to create shapes for printing on rollers and hand-screens and even blocks. The trick was to make the reiteration seamless. And it was also the way in which the motifs were restated that made the design special. A pattern is created by virtue of the fact that some line, form or motif recurs. Of course the more proficient and creative of us could do better than others and there were measures of discernment, unlike in the Zentangle process that apparently chooses to accept rather than judge.
 

In writing about her latest Zentangle Rohini wrote on Facebook that “ I had no structure to begin with, just a blank tile. Tangles which is what patterns are called, suggested themselves, and I drew them. New one’s appeared and magically integrated themselves into the picture. The more I appreciated them, the more joyous and creative the process became. There was no fear of making mistakes because there are none in the Zentangle methodology. Oops stands for outstanding opportunity presented suddenly! I had no deadline and no need for hurry. And when I stepped back and looked at it, there was only wonder and delight at what had drawn itself. A perfect design.” Adding “isn’t this just such a beautiful metaphor for Life!” 

And it is. The very idea that these compositions arise from repeating forms, but regardless of how you duplicate and what form you use, the end design is perfect, is profound wisdom. Most especially in a world that is psychologically tearing apart the insides of relationships to get to the bottom of configurations emerging from childhood, to alter the course of their naturalised subconscious pull towards supposed abuse and dysfunctional tendencies. 

My life has had its share of challenges and pain. I too wanted to delve the past to figure out what could be reprogrammed to bring greater joy in living. In this context, I read countless books but, instead of feeling better for studying them, ended up feeling even more inadequate.  I finally realised that everyone speaks of having the perfect solution – a fail-proof formula for living. Each one claiming to have the edge over the rest, making nine out of every ten authors that I read, wrong. And fundamentally, none worked in entirety for me. There was some wisdom in each that touched my life, but I couldn’t adhere to any one philosophy. I referenced everything with the way I felt doing it and questioned a lot of it, dispensing with most, keeping just a kernel or two and only the really workable ones passed the test of time. My life changed, but marginally and didn’t take the quantum leaps of success promised. This made me feel even less good because, by the benchmark of those whose ideas I couldn’t conform to, I clearly didn’t have it in me to go through the rigour to want to transform.
 

Gradually, the  very idea that I wanted to change started to bother me. Progressively, I realised that it isn’t modification that is necessary but acceptance. And therefore on reading her post,  I loved Rohini’s metaphor for life.
 

The inherent beauty in pattern, is a consequence of retelling anything, which creates a certain harmony and therefore emanates a sense of faultlessness. Yet we, in our age, are dealing with concepts of being emotionally retarded, lacking in confidence or being dysfunctional. And, the truth is, if we are, so what?
 

Once again Rohini put it beautifully, in response to my query: questioning why, when no arrangement in the zentangle process she had described, was wrong, is there judgement on those living rituals which are referred to as subconscious patterns. Of doing and living without awareness from where our tendencies arise and consequences thereof. She said that “ignorance creates these labels. A ‘ground level’ view. When you look with panoramic vision, i.e. a higher perspective, the mistakes dissolve, or point you in different directions. The mind minds. Judges. The heart allows. Is wise and forgiving. Depends which we listen to.”

 

Profound wisdom, but do we follow it? Can we abide by this? At best we can barely see the merit of what we do each day, since so much of it is done on auto-pilot. Seeing what another is doing to you, which seems wrong and is hurtful,  by raising your viewing point, is an ideal. A lovely, inspirational thought. But implementation requires tremendous effort, discipline and restraint. Slowing down, stepping back from the business of ‘doing’, allowing ‘being’ to have its say.
 

In my last post, I wrote about gratitude and how someone had spoken of it, but I couldn’t find the same perspective. I wasn’t without gratitude nor had I kept my view at ground level, I just cannot embrace every experience with this sense that every wrong-doer isn’t doing wrong by me, but possibly righting a hurting situation and therefore merits forgiveness or gratitude.
 

I am capable of reaching a point of understanding that what occurred created a field of possibilities, which enhanced my eventual outcome or experience, but I don’t know how to not point fingers, not pick up a point and want to debate it. Even as the tu-tu-mein-mein of such arguments enervates. In the panoramic view of living, I guess all of this is legitimate, but is it really? And does it imply acceptance of everything without rancour.

As a young girl, even into my twenties, my mother would often say, rehne doh, you are older, or younger and being the middle sibling I was stuck in the middle of it all, always. I hated this rehne doh attitude. And think that if self-esteem, dharma, righteousness,  is the ground for the battle of all battles - the Mahabharata, then why rehne doh? Should the Pandavas have accepted that their cousins would not return their kingdom, as promised? If that was the case, then why did Krishna distinguish between good and evil and fight for good to triumph, urging Arjuna to understand that since nothing exists save in one’s imagination, he isn’t killing anyone. Surely birthed in this illusion one has to live it out to the fullest, and there are times when it is necessary to fight for the sake of self-esteem, truth and integrity. Where, rather than accept the status quo, we accept this provides the impetus to assert.

 

 

I realise that in our terror-struck times, licence to combat can be foolhardy and often perspectives that choose conflicts are not necessarily within the realm of uprightness but, more  about might and insecurity. But what about the young women of today who are standing up to challenge their abusers and signal that they will no longer cower in fear? I realise that  confrontations which are given social sanction change over time and not long ago women were shamed for standing up and it isn’t easy to speak up, even today. But surely we must?
 

For centuries women across the world have been told by men what to do. In India, the ‘Dharamshastras’, or guidebooks of dharma (which were written by men), outlined in detail, all manner of social behaviour, ethical norms, as well as personal, civil and criminal law. Delineating the duties and rights of people at different stages of life,  including matters relating to marriage, dress and inheritance. It has taken women the subtlety of aeons to rise up and define their own codes of conduct, to find the courage to do so. Asserting their rights to education, parity in the work-space, right to enter the sanctum of temples and more.

 

 

If one were to look at the panoramic view, then perhaps the way things played themselves out, women found this boldness through the injustice of what they or their mothers were subjected to.  Therefore, in many instances, it was their pain and rising indignation that became the catalyst for change. I don’t see acceptance in this any other way, do you?